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April 30, 2007

Strong Fathers, Strong Daughters by Dr. Meg Meeker: A Book Review

As a father of four girls, the book Strong Fathers, Strong Daughters was required reading for me. And the time will certainly pay off in the lives of my young girls. This is a book written by a family doctor and psychiatrist who has treated numerous women and girls over her 25 years of practicing medicine (and, not incidentally, is a woman). But what shines in this book is the research into studies and real-life examples that underline her points. This is a must-read for any Christian father (the book is not explicitly Catholic, so non-Catholic men are just as likely to enjoy it).

Subtitled 10 Secrets Every Father Should Know, this book explores the type of father that girls need to become strong, competent women without emotional, physical, or mental problems. The chapters guide us toward becoming better men as well as better fathers. Each tackles a particular "secret" and includes substantial research, real-world examples and guidance on how to achieve the goal. Chapter titles include: You Are the Most Important Man in Her Life, Teach Her Humility, Protect Her, Defend Her (and use a shotgun if necessary), and Be the Man You Want Her to Marry.

Dr. Meeker is a natural writer and does a phenomenal job of making her points while also providing encouragement. This isn't a book that demands instant changes or that wants men to act more like women. Rather it explores the relationship between fathers and daughters and explains how you can give your daughter the father she deserves. For example, one chapter called Pragmatism and Grit: Two of Your Greatest Assets stands up for some of "manly" traits we're often criticized for. And it suggests we should in no way give up on them - pragmatism is defined as the masculine trait of looking for a solution to the problem, rather than analyzing why a problem occurred in the first place (which tends to be a more feminine trait). Here's an example from the chapter Teach Her to Fight:

. . . [Y]ou need to understand that your daughter's emotions are overflowing with impulses that, if acted upon, could lead her toward self-destruction. Your job, as a man, as her father, is to help her keep her emotions in check. It is really quite simple to do, but it takes a tremendous amount of strength and perseverance. And you have to do it, because you will do it better than her mother. Her mother can empathize, but you can guide. You see your daughter more realistically and more objectively than she sees herself. I can't overemphasize how much your daughter needs your direction and authority. From the moment she begins walking, your daughter's emotions, unless they have firm guardrails, can become a threat to her emotional well-being. Am I exaggerating? . . . [You'll have to read it for more]

This is a great book for any father who takes his role seriously. My wife and I have ordered copies for the dads we know (Father's day is around the corner). And I believe it's a book that I'll go back to again in a few years to brush up before the teenage angst sets in. Overall I would rate this book as one of the best books for fathers that I have read yet (a lot of the advice works for boys as well). And I appreciate the practical nature of the book: it doesn't just give theories, but incorporates practical suggestions on how to exhibit certain traits or teach certain things to girls. Highly recommended.

You can purchase Strong Fathers, Strong Daughters here. You'll be glad you read it (or gave it to the father you know).

God bless,
Jay

Posted by jay at April 30, 2007 8:33 PM

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Posted by: Craig Olson at February 18, 2008 11:03 PM

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