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November 19, 2006
What do you want your child to be when they grow up?
This is a complex question for parents, but I think it’s enlightening for us to answer it. Frankly, a lot of parents – especially American parents – tend to answer this in some type of material terms: fame, fortune, success. I think it’s important to really understand the effects that can be caused by too much success- particularly too early.
It’s good to struggle
When Scripture tells us it is difficult for the rich to enter heaven, it is a very valid caution for us today. Wealth tends to minimize our need for God and our reliance on him. I personally think it is extremely important for young people to struggle in order to rely on prayer and God as well as to understand the value of money. Early wealth can stunt your maturity and understanding of the value of material things.
My wife and I both struggled for years with money when we were first married and it gave us a strength of character we would not have had otherwise. Obviously, finances aren’t the only thing you can struggle with, but the very act of struggling helps you to keep humility at the forefront of your mind.
When we hope for our children to be famous actors, singers, etc., we are hoping for a career that could endanger their spiritual growth. Just the reality of wealth without the struggle is a danger as is the culture within these industries. How many good children have given up on God after becoming famous? I could name a few immediately, whereas it is difficult for me to name more than a couple of faithful, good Christians that are successful in this type of career (Patricia Heaton, um, um).
God working in our lives
The struggle of life is just a piece of suffering in our lives. We cannot escape suffering in our lives – if our Lord, who sets the penultimate example, can’t escape suffering then why should we? And Jesus told us that we would have to take up our cross daily in this world. The struggle not only keeps us humble, but it gives us the opportunity to see God working in our lives. We all end up making decisions based on prayer when there is no other choice. We see the results of these decisions and thank God for His intervention in our lives.
It’s hard for us to wish that our children would struggle. I think most of us would choose to suffer in their place, giving them the best possible life we could. However, the best possible life can only be defined in one way: the life that ends in heaven.
Our goal as parents
In reality we should hope one thing for our children: that they become Saints. Only by becoming a Saint can we make it to heaven. God knows the best path our children to take in order to get them to heaven and we have to trust that He will lead them in that direction. As parents we can only make suggestions, offer our wisdom, and pray, pray, pray for them. And we can hope every day that no matter what they end up in heaven.
Suffering is a required step on the way to heaven and we can’t prevent it. The humble life of a nun even requires it as St. Therese of Liseux reminds us. And our wants and desires drive our children more than we probably realize. So even the hidden desire that our child become a famous actress, can have us pushing them in odd directions when they are young. Early on we should make the decision that the only thing we need is for them to achieve sanctity and holiness in this life and push them in that direction every day. Eternity demands it.
What do we want for our children to become? Saints. The answer is so simple, so difficult, and so important for us to make early. Because the earlier we make the decision to go down this path, the earlier we can start doing whatever is required to make it possible. And that is also the path to Sainthood for us.
God bless,
Jay
Posted by jay at November 19, 2006 10:14 PM
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Comments
Jay, I would like to thank you for putting into words what I have been trying to say for a while now. People ask me what I want my child to be and I say a Saint, then they look at me a little funny :-) But you are right! Thank you again for helping people remember what their real goal in life should be.
Posted by: Kathleen at November 22, 2006 8:59 AM
