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January 2, 2006
What makes a Catholic home truly “Catholic”?
I think this is one of the bigger questions of our modern lives. We want a home that brings up faithful Catholic children. We want a home that strengthens our faith and builds habits that lead toward heaven. I believe there are some key elements of a truly Catholic culture in the home, which tends itself toward a faithful family.
Service in the Catholic home
One of the key elements, as Pope John Paul II pointed out in Familiaris Consorio (The Role of the Christian Family in the Modern World) is this notion of developing a “communion of persons” in the home. This is created in two ways: by love and service. We understand intuitively that we must love one another and try to increase our love over time. Part of doing this also involves service: by making yourself a servant of your family you set an example of love that your children will follow. But another part is service:
FC 21. All members of the family, each according to his or her own gift, have the grace and responsibility of building, day by day, the communion of persons, making the family “a school of deeper humanity”: this happens where there is care and love for the little ones, the sick, the aged; where there is mutual service every day; where there is a sharing of goods, of joys, and of sorrows.
This beautiful passage underlines a key element of the Catholic family: service of others. We serve those around us selflessly and teach our children through the undeniable power of example. Not even our words and explanations can teach as well as the examples we set for our children. Want to teach them to be selfless and loving? Start by being so yourself. Want to teach concern for the poor? Go to soup kitchens and give money to those in need. Serving others is the only true way to happiness and the fastest way to developing a true Catholic culture within the home.
Faithfulness in the Catholic home
The power of example takes us further into the next stage of developing an authentic Catholic culture: being faithful to the Church and her teachings. For most Americans, this is a difficult reality. Studies suggest that a large percentage of Catholics practice contraception, for example. This willful refusal to follow Church teaching also sets an example to your children – but not the correct one. If we want to raise faithful children, we must be faithful and willing to sacrifice our “wants” to serve God in the correct way. Oftentimes we view the commands of God (that come through the Church) as obstacles to our happiness. This is a true error since true happiness can only be found in God.
It seems obvious, but is often overlooked: in order to develop a Catholic home we must believe and follow the teachings that the Church has laid out for us. It is not possible to have a truly Catholic home that dissents from the Church on key teachings or practices acts which are considered gravely sinful.
Prayer in the Catholic home
This is one we harp on constantly at LivingCatholicism.com. Prayer is required in order to change us into faithful children of God. Not just personal, private prayer done at the end of day before bed, but family prayer done together on a daily basis. Every family should get together nightly and pray. Personally, I recommend not only reciting basic Catholic prayers (the Our Father, the Hail Mary, etc), but also praying nightly or personal prayers together as a group. This enables the family to grow in holiness together – and it allows you to teach your children to pray by setting the example of how you pray.
By committing to nightly prayer together, you also prioritize the values of your home. Sitcoms and phone conversations are less important than prayer. Whether we are tired or not matters less than the fact that we will pray together nightly. This includes the necessity of mass, which is a form of prayer in our lives. I also recommend praying the Rosary daily, if possible, if not try weekly. One thing that worked well for my family (with young children) is to start by praying one decade of the Rosary nightly, then slowly add on decades over time until you are praying it completely every night. Nothing should come into the way of your daily prayer (if you have an event at night, get together beforehand and do your prayers). Also – try to do a small short prayer every morning to set the pace for your family’s day.
Habit in the Catholic Home
Habit, it has been said, can lead to actual holiness. By making those things that lead to holiness a habit, we can ensure our spiritual growth over time. Daily prayer, regular spiritual reading, and selfless service of others can all be worked into a daily pattern that helps our home become a Catholic home. By developing these habits in your children, you give them the gift of a lifetime of holiness and closeness to God.
This should be the goal: pray every night for a month and it begins to be a habit that just occurs without thinking about it or worrying about excuses why tonight is okay to skip. The hardest part is working to develop it into a habit.
Reminders in the Catholic Home
Along with developing good habits, I also recommend creating reminders in your home of your Catholic faith. Crucifixes throughout the house (particularly in key rooms where you spend a lot of time) is a good start. Statues of saints and spiritual books throughout the house. Pictures of Jesus and Mary. All of these provide a constant backdrop to our lives that remind us of our Faith. It also predisposes children to learn more about these things: why do we have a picture of Mary? Why do we have a Bible? These questions lead children to explore their faith more fully over time.
The Catholic Home Serves, is Faithful, and Prays
It sounds easy of course, but requires real work and dedication. It’s difficult to take time to pray each night – particularly if you haven’t been doing it. My wife’s family started when they had teenage children, which meant much debate on why this was necessary. But if the parents (particularly the father) commit to this and lead the family down the road, it gets easier over time. Remember: you’ll always cherish the time praying as a family and you’ll never regret missing an episode of CSI to do so . . .
God bless,
Jay
PS – We do recommend our sponsor Holy Family Catholic Catalog if you are looking for Catholic goods.
Posted by jay at January 2, 2006 10:59 AM
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Comments
My husband has agreed to become our Catholic neighbor's God Father. We are Methodist and are wondering what that means to be a God Father for a child who is Catholic. Where would we find requirements or responsiblities on becoming a God Father for a child who is Catholic. My husband is eager to do all he can for the child.
I would appreciate any information you could given us.
God Bless!
Posted by: Sandra at April 22, 2006 11:54 AM
Hi Sandra,
It's wonderful that you and your husband, as Methodists, are so willing to do all you can for your Catholic neighbors and their child in bringing the child up in the Catholic faith. If only more people were so conscientious about their responsibilities as godparents.
Unfortunately, it's not possible for your husband to be a godparent to a Catholic child. It's a Church requirement that there be at least one godparent, and that the godparent is a Catholic in good standing. Your husband can, however, act as a Christian witness of the Baptism.
From Canon Law:
http://www.intratext.com/IXT/ENG0017/__P2X.HTM
God's blessings,
Liz
Posted by: Liz at July 20, 2006 7:48 PM
