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November 17, 2005
Parenthood: A Sacrificial Life
In our day and time, you constantly hear parents complaining about the sacrifices they have to make for their children. It often centers on the lifestyle they want to live, rather than the one they currently have. But inevitably, if you ask these parents would they jump in front of a bullet, sacrificing their life to save their child’s, the answer is yes – without hesitation.
So why not sacrifice your life, not in a split second, but over 30, 40 or even 50 years by making the necessary small sacrifices every day for your children? Would it be more heroic to die for your child in split second or to live sacrificially for a lifetime, dying to self a little each day? In a very real way this is the nature of parenthood; a lifetime of sacrifices that slowly kill the selfishness in you.
Living this way requires radical conversion to Christianity and a dedicated approach to giving everything. This is difficult – and the more children you have the harder it gets. But your children will see you doing it and through your work an image of God appears in their minds. We become a pale image of Christ – a true Christian – that our children see as a living representation of the love of God. When we complain or lose our temper or choose our wants over our child’s, we distort this image and, over time, we can distort a child’s understanding of God’s love. True love, like God, gives everything to those it loves. Can you heed this call?
Do you want to raise Saints? Then become one yourself. Choose a hairshirt of sacrificial service to your children and wear it proudly. Accept the stigmata that burn away our personal dreams until they are no longer a distraction. Give until it hurts and then give some more. Hard? No, it’s impossible without a deep life of prayer and dedication to God. Only He can make this a living reality for you.
I always find it reveling to ask – as the famous bracelets once did – what would Jesus do if He were the father of these children? Would He see having one parent at home as more important than the income available by sending them to preschool? Would He think it more important to pray the rosary nightly or see that sitcom you enjoy so much? Would He push out an extra ten hours of work to get ahead in his career or come home and spend time with the family? Sometimes true revelation can only come through asking yourself the hard questions that really make you uncomfortable.
This does not mean you give your children everything they want. In fact, I think it’s more common to act selfishly by giving them what they want so that you don’t have to deal with the child or punish them. The true parent takes the time required to consistently teach your children responsibility and obedience through punishment – if they don’t learn this as a child it will be very difficult to learn as an adult.
Every day we as parents have an opportunity to become the mothers and fathers God calls us to be. Choose to become the example of sacrificial love that give your children the best opportunity to get to Heaven.
God bless,
Jay
Posted by jay at November 17, 2005 10:35 PM
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Comments
Jay,
This is one of the best explanations for sacrificial parenting ever! I know I fail again and again at this, but I want to keep on trying. Hopefully, that is okay with the Lord!
Thanks for a terrific and thought-provoking post.
Posted by: Christine Johnson at November 21, 2005 08:40 PM
