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January 24, 2005
A Vocations Crisis: Do we want our Children to have Religious Vocations?
We’ve all heard the story of the holy child whose parent tries to steer them away from a religious vocation, typically for selfish reasons (the parent wants grandchildren). And there are actually several Saints and at least one soon-to-be-Saint named Mother Teresa, who experienced this as a young adult. We typically laugh when we hear these stories and wonder what those parents were thinking.
But I also think we as parents might be doing the same thing with our children, at least implicitly. As a convert, it took me a while to realize that I should be praying for God to develop the vocation He wants in my children. I often prayed for their future spouse, but this insinuates that they will get married, which may not be true. And I think modern parents do a disservice to their children by not showing them that the religious life is a vocation they should at least consider. So how can we as parents encourage curiosity about the religious life in our children?
- Pray for vocations. This is something we should all be doing anyway and it forms the basis for leading our children to consider such a life.
- Pray that they consider religious life. This is more than asking God to help them find a vocation, it is actively working to help our children see the religious life as a high and noble calling. It involves asking God to steer them in that direction, which means committing ourselves to helping Him.
- Discuss the religious life with them. Don’t just explain that some people choose to live as priests, monks, or nuns, get across the strength of character and the love of God these people have in making that choice. They are not choosing to “hide away” as some suggest, but to sacrifice their lives to conform their will to God’s. This takes heroic virtue, which is something to be proud of.
- Show them what religious life is like. The obvious way is to take them to visit monasteries and convents when young and encourage boys to become Altar boys when they reach the appropriate age. All of this opens their mind to possibilities and shows them the reality behind the choices these men and women have made. It’s easy to imagine oddities if we have no experience with the lifestyle, so by exposing our children to it, we remove those “fears,” if you will.
- Introduce them to those living the religious life. In most parishes, you can invite your priests to dinner or find a religious that would gladly discuss his/her life with your children (maybe at a nearby convent or monastery). Especially as your children enter their young teens, this type of exposure will help them understand both the good side of the decision as well as the struggles that religious face. It is important not to overemphasize the good, otherwise your child may be shocked by the reality of religious life – we all suffer, face temptation, and generally have to live life.
Not all are called to the religious life and each child will have to discover his/her vocation for themselves. But as Catholic parents, we can at least teach our kids that choosing a religious vocation is not an oddity or a bad decision, but a very noble calling. At best, we can encourage them to examine the possibilities for their own lives and see what God wants them to do.
I would enjoy hearing from any parent whose child has made this choice (or any religious): what was done to encourage them?
God bless,
Jay
Posted by jay at January 24, 2005 5:19 PM
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Comments
Jay, this is a great post. I remember when the girls were little (before I was Catholic) the prayer for vocations would come and I would think, "But not for my girls, please." It was a very mind opening moment when I realized that God had specific plans for them and I should look on them as a privilege not a threat. It also was very freeing to "let them go" so to speak. So far though we have one budding psychologist and one zoologist ... no vocations though I ask if they want to go to a local convent on vocations day...
Posted by: Julie D. at January 24, 2005 8:35 PM
I couldn't agree with you more. And it seems yet another positive reason to not limit one's family size. Of course, I feel selfish in the opposite direction, as I desire greatly that some of our children be called to the religious vocation and that hopefully one of our boys becomes a priest. I also think that the vocation of motherhood is one which is frequently overlooked in our modern age...that it is as much a legitimate calling as being a religious, or being called to use one's God-given gifts in some other career (e.g. athlete, writer, musician, artist, etc.).
Posted by: Valerie at January 25, 2005 2:05 PM
Dear jay, today 26.07.05 is the first time i have visited your site and i'm complelety bowled over with your hardwork. keep it up. yes i have a 1.10 months old son named joshua, i named him on purpose to be the true joshua of egypt (deliverer of his people) in fact earlier this year i got an opportunity to visit egypt (i dusted his feet in the soil as symbol to offer him to our precious lord).
Leena
Posted by: Leena Barretto at July 26, 2005 12:59 AM
There is a dearth of written material out there for parents who want to share with their young children the meaning of vocation.
What I mean is, there are few picture books that are very inspiring for the parent who doesn't know what to do with the four year old who taps father and tells him that "I want to be like you when I grow up" or, the four year old girl who tells mommy every day that she just "wants to marry Jesus when I grow up."
Next helpful blog post:
Reading list for vocations for young children
Posted by: whimsy at August 12, 2005 9:59 PM
